Sunday, 27 September 2020
Hello!
This is the second part of my summary and reflection on the course “The Science of Well-being” (available for free here: https://www.coursera.org/). In part 1 of this mini series, I summarized some of the research behind why professor Santos thinks our quest of happiness can be tricky: our minds send us factually incorrect messages about what will or won’t make us happy, we often use irrelevant reference points to rate our happiness and we tend to get used to things.
So, what are the strategies to tackle these mind obstacles and what’s the big secret to a happy life?
One of the main messages of this course – striving for e.g. a good job, money or success won’t make us happy – felt confusing to me and I learned that the highlight here is the perspective we take on these matters. Of course, we all want money in order to gain security and the means to pay for the necessities and experiences we want in life, but if we involve ourselves in work that actually increases our levels of satisfaction, and rethink what success means for us, odds are that making money will be easier. On the other hand, the course outlines how we should be considering our relationship between money and time, and evaluate what we truly want to invest in more.
There is research in the area of time affluence that basically indicates that people who value their time over money, are happier than those valuing money over time (Whillans et al. 2016). Yet, Hershfield et al.’s study (2016) shows that about 69 % of the people who participated in their research, value money more than their time. This is a difficult topic for everyone to ponder on – I certainly value my time (being on unpaid leave as we speak proves that to be true), but in order to invest in e.g. all the experiences I want in my life (even this trip that I am on), funds are certainly necessary. Perhaps striving for funds in order to have a good time sometimes goes overboard in which case there is little time left to value anymore and so, the importance in the time afffluence discussion lies in finding a balance.
Research points out that the crucial point around getting work that contributes to our happiness and in turn, makes money, has two important factors. First of all, the work should offer us the opportunity to use our signature strengths. For example Seligman et al. (2005) and Lavy et. al (2006) have done research that proves that people who were able to use their top strengths at work had not only increased levels of productivity and job satisfaction, but also more positive emotions around their work than those, who didn’t. The second crucial element is flow; that state of mind we get lost in when doing something that is challenging, but manageable, and where we have a full focus on what we do while often losing track of time and even physical needs.
When it comes to success, there is a mind shift that could be helpful to many according to research (Mangels et al. 2006 & Blackwell et al. 2007). Instead of using a fixed mindset where we only focus on outcomes and think we either are or aren’t capable of doing something, it’s much more productive and happiness increasing, if we learn to internalize a growth mindset; a perspective, where the focus is on learning and where we understand that good performance requires work and in this light see mistakes and failures as opportunities, not stepping stones. If you now wonder if it’s possible to adopt a growth mindset even after having operated in a fixed mindset for years – it is, according to Blackwell et al.’s study from 2007.
Pics from along the way
But how to tackle our mind’s tendency to adapt? And what about those irrelevant reference points?
The magic of experiences vs. material is that apart from the memory of experiences (e.g. a dinner with friends, a trip to Timbuktu or a hot air balloon ride) these events don’t stick around, and so it means we cannot get used to them. This is why, after having invested on life necessities, we should be spending our money on experiences, rather than material belongings as several studies (e.g. Van Boven & Gilovich 2003) indicate how this increases our happiness. In Kumar et al’s research (2014) people showed higher ratings in levels of excitement when it came to planning and anticipating experiences, rather than material purchases, which led to the conclusioon that experiences have a longer lasting impact on our positive emotions. Other research also looks into the effects of our purchases afterwards; the positive ratings of sharing feelings with others around experiences were higher than for material goods.
One strategy for longer lasting happiness around our experiences or belongings, is to practice savoring; during and after consumption. This can simply be done by stopping consciously to talk to others about your positive feelings, sharing them with others (showing pictures, giving others a piece of what you have etc.), thinking of how lucky you are, feeling proud and this way, actively enjoying the moment. Counter-productive actions would be focusing on the future, reminding yourself that the situation will be over soon or how it could have been better or thinking you don’t deserve it.
In addition, there is loads of empiric research around the positive effects of gratitude. Already within a relatively short time period, listing things, events or people we are grateful for on a daily basis has powerful psychological effects on how positive we feel about our life in general and our future according to Emmons & McCullough (2010). Equally, shared gratitude has an impact on our wellbeing; a study by Seligman et al. in 2015 shows how presenting someone a heart-felt message of gratitude can increase our subjective level of happiness for up to six weeks after the event takes place. Interestingly, another study (Grant & Gino 2010) shows that when volunteer workers received a personalized letter of gratitude from their supervisor, their work ethic significantly increased – these employees put in more hours of work, achieving more positive work results.
More pics from along the way
Another strategy to a happier life according to the course is around rethinking our reference points. We can put in an effort to steer our reference points to support our wellbeing, rather than sabotaging it e.g. by consciously reminding ourselves of the previous conditions in our own lives, when we realize we start to take things for granted. This is so obvious to me at work, because I work in a modern office in the heart of the city center, with loads of freebies available for our employees; drinks, snacks, events, gifts and other perks. When I catch myself or colleagues complaining about something in this area (like the type of snacks offered this week) it helps to remind myself of the office I used to work at during my studies… My brother has also offered me a great reference point here; he once laughed and said; “I don’t even have a window in my office” when there was a complaint about some interior design related choice at my work place.
We should also be conscious about curating the reference points we surround ourselves with in regard to our hobbies, people and social media channels; unfollowing anyone who makes us feel small, envious or enraged, considering some detox time without social media or TV, distancing ourselves from toxic friends and family members and leaving that awful knitting class with the passive-agressive instructor.
Interestingly and totally against our natural instincts, we are likely to enjoy our experiences more with interruptions. Nelson et al. have done cool studies in 2008 and 2009 where people were tested while listening to music and watching tv, so that these events were interrupted in the middle of the act. After the interruption, levels of positive emotions increased significantly, compared to the moment just before the interruption. So, having a commercial break on TV actually benefits us, as it gives us a new reference point, to which we can measure our enjoyment to - believe it or not. We can interrupt or time our consumption consciously; taking breaks from things, activities – even people – we enjoy, to increase our happiness around them. Studies also prove that adding variety to our consumption can be helpful, too. So instead of always eating your favorite liquorice ice-cream, you might enjoy it more, if you try out another flavor for a change once in a while.
In addition to rethinking good jobs, money and success, plus the strategies to tackle our mind tricks, there is a list of other simple little things that have surprisingly big effects on our happiness: kindness, social connections, meditation and healthy basic life habits.
I know it sounds fluffy, but there really is research that backs up the fact that acts of kindness have an impact on our wellbeing levels. Otale et al. (2006) have come to the conclusion that when studying very happy people, these are persons who behave kindly, recognize acts of kindness around them and who are more motivated to do acts of kindness compared to unhappy people. Kindness is powerful, as it is not only beneficial to the receiver; by simply acting kindly towards others we can increase our own levels of happiness, as well as by thinking about our acts of kindness afterwards (Lyubomirsky et al. 2005). This also shows for example in the fact that across cultures, spending extra money on others rather than oneself increased positive emotions (Dunn et al. 2008 and Atkin et al. 2008).
People who consider themselves very happy, have more social connections than those, who are unhappy. Surprisingly to me, even connecting with strangers can increase positivity, against even the research participants’ own predictions (Epley et al. 2014). The same goes for shared experiences with strangers; when people were rating their liking of chocolate, the ratings were systematically higher, when knowing there were others doing the same tasting (Boothby et al. 2014). As much as I enjoy traveling on my own, I too can feel the power of social connection out here; speaking with a good friend or sharing a positive experience face to face - not to even mention the power of community (currently very strongly felt, as I am attending a school program).
The awareness around the benefits of practicing meditation has been growing in recent years, and there is a lot of research done in this area. The baseline is that our minds wander approximately 46,9 % of the time we’re awake according to Killingsworth & Gilbert (2010). Experts believe that when our mind wanders, we are not able to fully focus on the now and the tasks at hand, so we can’t fully enjoy those moments. Meditation helps to decrease mind-wandering and thus, increases the volume of positive emotions, but also improves our cognitive abilities and social connections. All of this is to say that practicing meditation indeed can increase our levels of wellbeing from many angels. I have had very positive personal experiences here, after having practiced deep meditation on a regular basis for the first time in my life.
The fact that sleep has radical impacts on our wellbeing is old news; research shows that sufficient sleep helps us to enhance e.g. our mood and cognitive achievements, and decreases physical and emotional issues (Dinges et al. 1997 & Walker et al. 2002). Already one night of deprived sleep can cause issues or start a rapid snowball effect on a pile of problems that we really don’t need on our search for happiness. Same goes for exercise and resting, of course, so healthy habits are very important for those looking for happiness in life.
To summarize; when it comes to the obvious things in life we strive for in search of happiness, we should be conscious about the perspective we take on what a good job, money and success mean to us personally and carefully consider how we want to balance between time and money. To tackle the mind’s obstacles, we can invest in experiences rather than material, practice savoring and gratitude and consciously shift our own reference points by creating a living environment that supports our wellbeing. Additionally, interrupting and timing our consumption can increase our satisfaction levels. Lastly, research suggests that acts of kindness, people connections, meditation and healthy basic life habits (sleep, rest, exercise) have a great impact on our happiness.
You see - I told you that there is no need for a personality transplant. We all can increase our levels of happiness by relatively simple steps; self-discovery and self-care being the key words here. So… what are you waiting for?
Love & light!
Bacio 💋 Cass